Help & Support
You Are Not Alone
Whether you’re in crisis, supporting a loved one, or looking for guidance - help is available right now. You don’t have to figure this out by yourself.
If You Need Help Right Now
These services are free, confidential, and available 24/7. Tap a button to call or text directly from your phone.
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988
Call or text 988, available 24/7 for anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.
Crisis Text Line
Text HOME to
741741
Free, 24/7 crisis support via text message. A trained crisis counselor will respond.
Emergency
911
If someone is in immediate danger, call 911. You can also go to your nearest emergency room.
Call 911SAMHSA National Helpline
1-800-662-4357
Free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day treatment referral and information for substance use and mental health.
Call SAMHSASam’s OATH is a community of people choosing openness, not a treatment program - but we know that breaking the silence is only the first step. Below you’ll find crisis hotlines you can call right now, guides for navigating substance use and mental health, language tools that encourage honest conversation, and organizations that offer direct support. Everything here is free and chosen with you in mind.
Jump to what you need
Language That Heals
The words we choose shape whether someone feels safe enough to ask for help. Empathetic, person-first language reminds people that they are more than a diagnosis - and that they deserve compassion, not judgment.
Person with a substance use disorder
Puts the person first. A diagnosis doesn't define who someone is.
Person in recovery
Honors the courage it takes to heal without labeling someone by their past.
In recovery / Actively using
Describes a stage of a journey, not a moral judgment about someone's character.
Substance use disorder
Recognizes the medical reality. It's a health condition, not a character flaw.
Person with alcohol use disorder
Separates the person from the condition so they feel safe enough to ask for help.
Recurrence or return to use
Recovery is rarely a straight line. Language that acknowledges setbacks without shame keeps people moving forward.
Supporting someone through their journey
Acknowledges the love behind the action rather than implying blame.
Help is available at every stage
No one should have to suffer maximally before getting support. Help is for right now, not rock bottom.
Language is always evolving. What matters most is the intention to see people, not labels. When in doubt, ask someone how they prefer to be referred to.
See the complete language reference
Five sections covering people, conditions, recovery, treatment, and difficult situations
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See the complete language reference
Five sections covering people, conditions, recovery, treatment, and difficult situations
Talking About People
Every person is more than a diagnosis. These swaps put the person first.
Talking About Conditions
Substance use disorder is a medical condition, not a moral failure. The language should reflect that.
Talking About Recovery
Recovery is a journey, not a judgment. These words remove the moral weight.
Talking About Treatment
Treatment language should be medical, not judgmental.
Talking About Difficult Situations
Some common phrases cause more pain than we realize.
Support Organizations
These national organizations offer ongoing support, education, and community for individuals and families.
Sam's OATH is a community of people choosing openness - not a support group or treatment program. We work to break the silence around substance use and mental health. The organizations below offer direct support services, and we encourage you to connect with them as part of your journey.
SAMHSA National Helpline
1-800-662-4357Free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders.
NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)
1-800-950-NAMIThe nation's largest grassroots mental health organization. Offers support groups, education programs, and advocacy for individuals and families affected by mental illness.
Al-Anon / Nar-Anon Family Groups
1-888-425-2666Support groups specifically for families and friends of people struggling with substance use. Find strength through shared experience with people who understand.
The Compassionate Friends
1-877-969-0010Support for families who have experienced the death of a child. Local chapters, online support, and resources for bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings.
Supporting a Loved One
If someone you love is struggling with substance use or mental health, here are some ways to show up for them.
How to Help
Listen without judgment. You don't need to have the answers
Educate yourself about substance use disorder and mental illness
Take care of your own mental health. You can't pour from an empty cup
Set boundaries with love, not anger
Connect with a support group like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, or NAMI
Remember that substance use disorder is a medical condition, not a choice or moral failing
Conversation Starters
"I've noticed you've been going through a tough time. I'm here for you."
"I love you no matter what. I want to understand what you're feeling."
"You don't have to go through this alone. Can we talk about getting some support?"
"I've been learning about what families like ours go through. I don't want us to be silent anymore."
"There's no shame in what you're dealing with. I'm not going anywhere."
What Every Family Needs to Hear
You Are Not to Blame
No parent, partner, or sibling causes substance use disorder. It is a complex medical condition influenced by genetics, environment, trauma, and brain chemistry. Let go of the guilt.
You Cannot Fix It Alone
Recovery requires professional help, community support, and, most importantly, the individual's own willingness. You can support, but you cannot control the outcome.
You Deserve Support Too
Families of people with substance use disorder have higher rates of anxiety, depression, and physical illness. Your health matters. Getting help for yourself is not selfish. It's essential.
There Is a Path Forward
Regardless of where your loved one is on their journey, you can find your own peace. Millions of families have walked this road and found their way to healing.
How to Help Without Losing Yourself
The line between helping and enabling can feel impossibly thin. Here's what actually helps.
Listen Without Judgment
You don't need to have the answers. Often, the most powerful thing you can do is simply be present and listen. Avoid sentences that start with "You should..." or "Why don't you just..." Instead, try: "I'm here. I love you. Tell me what you're feeling."
Set Boundaries with Love
Boundaries are not punishment. They're protection. For both of you. A boundary might sound like: "I love you and I will always be here for you, but I cannot give you money when I know it's being used for substances." Setting boundaries is one of the hardest and most important things a family member can do.
Educate Yourself
Learn about substance use disorder as a medical condition. Understand how it changes the brain, why willpower alone isn't enough, and what recovery actually looks like. The more you understand, the less you'll blame yourself, and the better you'll be able to support your loved one.
Take Care of You
You cannot pour from an empty cup. Make space for your own therapy, your own support group, your own moments of rest. Prioritizing your well-being is not abandoning your loved one. It's making sure you have the strength to keep showing up.
Understand Enabling vs. Helping
Helping supports recovery and growth. Enabling removes the natural consequences that might motivate change. It's a painful distinction, and sometimes the loving thing to do is the hardest thing to do. Support groups like Al-Anon can help you navigate this.
For Those Carrying the Weight of Loss
If you've lost someone you love to substance use, overdose, or suicide, your grief is real, it is valid, and you do not have to carry it alone.
Losing someone to substance use carries a kind of grief the world doesn't always know how to hold. People may say the wrong things. They may avoid talking about your loved one at all. You may feel anger alongside your sadness: at the disease, at the system, at yourself, at them.
This is sometimes called disenfranchised grief: grief that society doesn't fully acknowledge. When someone dies from cancer, people bring casseroles. When someone dies from an overdose, people sometimes go quiet. That silence is its own wound.
Your grief matters. Your loved one mattered. And the way they died does not diminish the love you shared or the life they lived.
What You Might Be Feeling
If any of these sound familiar, you are not alone. These are normal responses to an abnormal loss.
Guilt: wondering if you could have done more or said something different
Anger: at the disease, at the person, at yourself, at God, at the world
Shame: feeling like you can't talk about how your loved one died
Relief: and then guilt about feeling relieved
Isolation: feeling like nobody understands what you're going through
Ambiguous grief: grieving someone you lost long before they died
Trauma: replaying the phone call, the hospital, the moment you found out
Fear: worried the same thing could happen to another family member
What Helps
Grief doesn't have a timeline. But these are things families who've walked this road say have made a difference.
Talk About Them
Say their name. Share their stories. Not just the hard parts, but the funny ones, the beautiful ones, the ordinary Tuesday ones. Your loved one was a whole person, and they deserve to be remembered that way.
Find Your People
Grief support groups, especially ones designed for families who've lost someone to substance use, can be transformative. Being in a room (virtual or in-person) with people who truly understand is one of the most healing experiences.
Let Go of the Guilt
The "what ifs" can consume you. But substance use disorder is a powerful, complex medical condition. You did not cause it. You could not have cured it. And your love, even when it wasn't enough to save them, was never wasted.
Seek Professional Help
Grief counseling and therapy, particularly with someone who understands substance use-related loss, can provide tools for processing the complex emotions. EMDR therapy can be especially helpful for traumatic loss.
Honor Them in a Way That Feels Right
Some families create memorial funds. Some plant trees. Some write. And some channel their loss forward, standing with people who are still alive and still struggling, so fewer families have to lose what they lost. That is exactly why Sam's OATH exists.
For Friends & Family: What to Say (and What Not to Say)
If someone you know has lost a loved one to substance use, here are some guidelines.
What Helps to Hear
"I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say, but I'm here."
"Tell me about them. I want to know who they were."
"There are no words, but I love you and I'm not going anywhere."
"You don't have to be strong right now."
"I'm bringing dinner Tuesday. You don't need to reply."
What Hurts to Hear
"Everything happens for a reason."
"At least they're not suffering anymore."
"They made their choice."
"You need to move on."
"I know how you feel." (Even if you think you do.)
Recommended Reading
Books and articles that have helped families on this journey.
Beautiful Boy
David Sheff
A father's powerful account of his son's substance use disorder. Honest, heartbreaking, and full of love.
Codependent No More
Melody Beattie
The groundbreaking guide for anyone who loves someone affected by substance use.
It's OK That You're Not OK
Megan Devine
A compassionate guide to grieving that doesn't try to fix your pain. It honors it.
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts
Gabor Mate, M.D.
A compassionate look at the roots of substance use disorder from one of the world's leading experts.
The Grief Recovery Handbook
John W. James & Russell Friedman
A practical, action-oriented program for moving beyond loss.
Three ways to stand with us.
Pick the one that fits. Each is sixty seconds of courage.